What once seemed so easy/exciting/fun/perfect is now…something else. Sometimes our most important relationships become battle grounds. Or, perhaps the fire of romance has simply gone out and we feel like we’re living together as strangers. Couples counseling offers a chance to identify what’s not working and why, develop new skills to better communicate and manage conflict, reconnect as friends and partners, and rekindle the romance.
Some common issues that bring people to marriage or couples counseling include:
- Frequent arguments which may escalate to hostility, shouting, storming out, etc., or may simply manifest as constant “bickering.”
- Lack of intimacy. Couples sometimes find they’ve lost that spark in their relationship. This may show up as decreased or unsatisfying sex, and/or feeling distant or disconnected from your spouse or partner.
- “We’re not having fun anymore!” Stress, careers, family, commitments – LIFE – has gotten in the way of the relationship. Both the friendship and the romance have taken a backseat to everything else and it can feel as though you’re merely going through the motions.
Other common issues often include:
- Infidelity and/or issues of trust
- Communication difficulties
- Not feeling heard, respected or appreciated
- A traumatic event which has impacted the relationship
- Indecision over whether to stay in the marriage/relationship or to separate
- Maintaining civility during a divorce
According to John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, less than 5% of divorcing couples seek marriage counseling. For those couples who do seek therapy, the majority wait years after problems initially develop before they seek help. Why seek help? In most cases, problems in the relationship won’t simply disappear or get better on their own. Healthy relationships require hard work and the development of the proper skills and habits. Couples counseling provides coaching, instruction and feedback to help you develop new skills to improve your relationship. Some of these skills include learning how to:
- communicate more effectively
- argue in a healthy way that isn’t destructive to the relationship
- manage conflict and problem solve in a productive manner
- increase friendship and intimacy within the relationship
- appropriately share and resolve painful emotions
- state your needs clearly and openly within the relationship
- work through unresolved issues
- bring about change in your relationship
At Columbia Therapy and Wellness, each couple is approached as a unique system with it’s own set of strengths, history, expectations, dreams and challenges. We will work with you from where you are to help you develop the tools necessary for a healthier relationship. Will it be hard work? Yup. Will it be intense? At times. Is your relationship worth it? If the answer is “yes,” then let’s begin.
We value and respect diversity. All couples are welcome.
***At this time we are not accepting new clients***